Subterranean Homesick Alien

CENSORSHIP.

This ugly little word was actually what I was going to write about in my first blog post, but that idea kind of evaporated in my head - only to come back to me after a few months. What triggered its return was the meeting with our counselor that happened just two weeks ago. There, we were informed that we must (well - I must admit that sounds a bit too strong. Let’s say “are strongly suggested to“) dispose of all inappropriate materials from our blogs or personal web pages, in case some future employer or -gasp- college applications officer finds enough free time in his/her hands to google us. Apparently there are some people who were rejected for having partying photos on their web pages in spite of their otherwise flawless resumé.

Of course, it’s not like I don’t understand why they do this - look at personal web pages, I mean. It’s supposed to let them look at the “real person” in a way that poring over transcripts and SAT scores never will. The key phrase here, though, is “supposed to.” What will they really learn from people’s web pages now that they’ve got everyone scared of displaying their true selves?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that everybody has a few guilty pleasures and, say, maybe even a few skeletons in their closets. It just isn’t fair to condemn someone based on what they do or what they like. Why should anyone care, as long as their interests or actions don’t interfere with work or school? Is it better instead for people to lie about themselves - to say they adore The Scarlet Letter when secretly their favorite book is Confessions of a Shopaholic - just to impress people?

We shouldn’t do that.

We should know that anyone who rejects us for who we are doesn’t deserve us in the first place.

We shouldn’t - we should - we shouldn’t - we should -

Sheesh, who am I kidding?

Though I’ve made a whole bla-bla lecture up there, I’m a total hypocrite, because this is probably one of the most heavily censored blogs ever. Yes, I love my cat (hence the pictures) and yes, I mean every word I write here, but really, I don’t post my innermost thoughts and feelings up here. The people most important to me aren’t mentioned, the happenings that changed me most deeply aren’t anywhere to be found, and generally, the biggest parts of my life aren’t even hinted upon. I just thought it was really sad that I do this, and that a lot of other people do this as well. We hide behind pseudonyms to communicate, create; to do things that we won’t be caught dead doing were our true identities revealed. We do it anyway, because we’re afraid of what other people will think - but now we’ve got a whole new reason to hide.

Why?

Behold, the humongous internet masquerade.

melaniek09 wrote:
Hey! I always have writer’s block hehe. I haven’t been able to write for about 5 weeks Anyway I always feel the same way! Even though there are million things to write about in this world, there isn’t ENOUGH for each topic to write about because they’re just not interesting. April 20th, 2008, at 3:43 pm

Even though there are as many topics in this world as there are molecular substances, a lot of them - let’s say half of them - aren’t even worth writing about. (ex: a thorough description of one of the stitches on your pant leg) Half of the ones that are left are so overdone, that even though they may be good topics, there’s still a big chance of them becoming boring - not to mention possibly being bombarded with accusations of plagiarism. (ex: he was a boy, she was a girl…) Still half of the ones that are left are probably things that you personally don’t know enough about or aren’t interested in. (ex: a comparison between Pascal’s principle and Bernoulli’s principle. Actually, I think this could also fit in the not-worth-writing-about category.)

So, it comes down to this: you’re only going to be able to write about 12.5% of the topics the world has to offer. (and probably less) Still, that’s a lot of topics, if you think of how many molecular substances there are in the world - 12.5% of that is still a whole lot. Melanie’s comment made me think, ‘aren’t there topics that most everyone will be interested in writing about?’ and that inspired me to compile this list. I call it the Writer’s Block Repellent! I’m hoping it can be something that people (including myself) can come to when they feel they have nothing to write about. : D I only have ten right now, but I’ll add more as I think of them!

*The Ultimate Writer’s Block Repellent*

1. Your favorite season. …or your favorite month. …or your favorite day of the week. …or your favorite day of the year. The trick is to not just make it your birthday, because that’s boring. Add some meaning to the day or make up a whole new holiday for anything. If you’re stuck, start by just writing up a list of days you love for whatever reason. (Saturday! Mmm.)

2. Write about a TV show or cartoon character you used to really really really like when you were young. Come on, we all had a few and I bet we all remember them! If you’re around my age level, you’ll probably be thinking of Sailor Moon or Pokemon among other things. If you’ve liked it enough to still remember the theme song 10 years later, it’s worth writing about: so do it!

3. Okay… So there’s always writing down the lyrics to your favorite song, but seriously, don’t you think that goes in the ‘overdone’ category? : / If you really want to do this, try changing the lyrics around. It will be a lot more fun, trust me.

4. Your dream life. I don’t know about you guys, but this was always so much fun for me. Write down your dream car, dream house, (in your dream location, decorated with your dream furniture and the walls painted in your dream color) dream job, dream spouse if any, dream children if any, dream pets if any, and a typical dream day. It’s all about being unrealistic. Add pictures!

5. What you would do if you were stuck on a deserted island with (insert name here). There’s a questionnaire about this going around in some of the Korean blogs I go to and the answers are always hilarious! xD

6. Write a poem about wet laundry. And no this is not in the not-worth-writing-about category.

7. Pick a news story - any news story - and break it down. Try to figure out ways it could have been manipulated, faked, or mistaken in any way. Google the people that are involved and write notes about them, including why or why not it’s possible they could’ve done whatever was done. Criticize or praise accordingly. The “right way” would be to do this with articles about crime or government issues, but it can also work with any old Hollywood story if that’s what floats your boat.

8. Write a blog about your blog. Write about why you’re writing (even if it’s for no reason) and what you usually write about (even if it’s nothing) and why you should come to this blog (even if you really shouldn’t). It can be like an advertisement or just an FYI kind of thing.

9. Doing ‘would you rather…’s are always fun. A bunch of them will come up if you search for ‘would you rather,’ but I’ve added some of mine here anyway for your convenience. : D So, would you rather…
- Only eat McDonald’s for the rest of your life or never eat it again?
- Sleep hanging upside down like a bat or standing like a horse?
-Eat your own hand or your friend’s hand?
-Run around naked in your school or in the subway?
- Go to prom with your 8 year-old cousin or 38 year-old aunt/uncle?

10. Make up a pointless list like this one.

My cat seems to have found an opportunity on the other side of the room… or not.
From a different point of view, the cat itself might be an opportunity -
if I don’t take a picture quickly, he’s going to disappear!

An “opportunity” could be an abstract idea for some people. It is for me, anyway. It’s as intangible as “fear” or even something like “the taste of victory” or whatever they call it these days. While some people associate opportunities with victory and success, others (like me) find it easier to associate them with fear. Because of this, even the same opportunity - the same, shining little ball of light that promises either an end to all of your problems or certain death - can be perceived completely differently by different people.

After a liberating talk with one of my dear friends, I realized that I often shy away from opportunities because of the fear of what would happen if I fail. It’s always easier to just not take risks, because if you never try anything, you’ll never become great, but then you won’t really fail, either. It’s a completely stupid way of thinking and I really hate that about myself. I envy people who work hard and keep trying no matter how many times they fall. Those are the kind of people whose life stories you hear about in the morning radio: “this man first tried to do this, but he failed, and he became broke, and then he tried this, but he failed again, and when he finally decided that he should do something different, he created this company that is really really famous today and he’s totally rich and blah blah blah.” Those are the kind of people who are remembered, and who really make a difference in this world. So, lo and behold! I’ve decided to change. No more “taking it easy” or “hiding from opportunities.” If I know I can do it, why not try? The opportunities, which before now seemed like abstract ideas only picked up and examined by people in an alternate universe, will become more tangible, if only I think of them that way.

At one of the schools we visited for a soccer match, there was a sign on the wall that said “you’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” It got stuck in my head for some reason and now I’m going to try and rebuild my currently flimsy attitude around it. Wish me luck! : )

(Speaking of signs in schools, there was another sign I keep remembering that said “who’s taking you home today?” with a bunch of trucks in the background and it bothered me because I had no idea what it was talking about, but that’s another story for another day.)

Sir, I confess:

I’ve left my poor blog empty for exactly two weeks. Gasp!

I realize that I haven’t been fair, haven’t been the good caretaker I promised to be…

But really, I couldn’t help it.

What does one do when one has nothing to write about?

I pored over this question for fourteen days and fourteen nights,

trying to figure out the one answer that will help me solve this problem.

Out of nowhere came the voice of truth, and it was then that I realized:

I can write about having nothing to write about!

So here it is.

I have nothing to write about.

Which is a lie, actually.

I really have countless things to write about.

I could write about me, my pencil, my cat,

a random building that I can see from my window,

the way my teddy bear-slash-pillow smells when it’s laid out to dry,

or even about my toenails, I guess.

It’s just that I don’t feel like writing about any of them.

(Actually, making a list like this made it seem a tiny bit fun again)

Hoping I have something more meaningful to write about next time.

This is so unfair.

Why do people have to die anyway?
I don’t get it.